Why is it that we make love complicated? We meet someone, fall in love, and then, just like that, it seems to disappear. Weren’t we just having an amazing time together? I’m confused.
My first answer is simple. . . f e a r
I tell myself I’m afraid of falling in love again. I’m afraid to date. I’m afraid of getting let down. Why should I open my heart when I’m so often disappointed? When I fall, I fall hard. It’s something I’m working through- with my church friends and in countless therapy sessions.
I’m vulnerable by nature. Ask anyone who knows me- they’ll tell you that I’m an open book. I’m not afraid of sharing my entire life story in one sitting. I’m vulnerable because I expect others to meet me there, to be vulnerable with me. I love deeply, wholeheartedly, and expect the same in return.
My second answer is. . . e x p e c t a t i o n s
I have high expectations of others. I look for honesty and openness. But many people struggle with vulnerability, some even lie to avoid facing their own truths. If you can’t be honest with yourself, how can I expect you to be honest with me? Having expectations can set us up for hurt. What I truly need are boundaries, not more expectations.
I won’t pretend I’m not a handful- because I am. I carry a lot of history with me, but that doesn’t stop me from loving with honesty and vulnerability.
I know what it’s like to feel unloved.
I know what it feels like to be lied to, taken advantage of, ridiculed, and humiliated in the worst possible ways.
Yet, none of that keeps me from giving my heart away.
Will I choose hate over love? Will I hold onto anger and resentment toward someone who hasn’t wronged me? Will I build walls, allowing nobody in, not even allowing myself out?
Will I keep myself as a prisoner?
No, instead I choose to love.
If anything, it motivates me to love even more deeply. So, why do others do that to us? Maybe it’s fear of being hurt; a way to protect themselves from the unknown and the possibilities of pain.
I choose to love others because I understand what it’s like not to feel loved or to be chosen. I empathize with your pain, truly. I wish we all felt this way; not just in romantic relationships but also in friendships, families, and within our community.
The ultimate purpose of existence is to give and receive love.
But why is there so much hate in the world? We’re at war with each other, but for what reason? To feel superior? To outdo the next person? To take control and make others feel small? If we only fulfilled our true purpose- our duty- to love each other, hate would fade away. Crime and abuse would diminish or even cease to exist.
God created us out of love. The love and warmth we feel in our hearts come from Him. He chose to create you, and He chooses to forgive you when you goof up. And, when you decide to runaway, He welcomes you back home; into His loving arms.
He spoke this beautiful, vast universe into existence from absolutely nothing. Before that, there was only a void of darkness. While science may not tell us exactly what existed before the universe, it had to come from something. And that something is God. If only we could love as deeply as He does- replacing hate with love, anger with peace, abuse with protection, and bringing light into the darkness- we would fulfill His will. We would live a life filled with joy, love, and peace, surrounded by those we cherish most. But first, we must choose.
Will you choose to love someone today, even when it’s difficult?
Will you choose to forgive, even if you’ve been deeply hurt?
Can you show kindness today? A simple smile can make all the difference. It might be the reason someone chooses life today. And sometimes, that’s all that matters.
With lots of love,
Christina
