I have those days, too, just like you

I have days when I’m grateful to be alive, and days when I’m miserable living this human life.  

I have days when I’m in awe of the world and all its creation, and days when I long to leave it behind.  

I have days when I carry an immense amount of love, and days when bitterness and hate consumes all of me.

I have days when I’m contagiously happy, and days when heaviness holds me as a prisoner to my bed.  

There are days when I eat everything in sight, savoring every bite, and days when not a single crumb will touch my lips.

I have days of unshakable faith, and days when I question His existence.  

I have days of spreading the gospel with passion, and days I’m tangled in doubt about its truth.  

There are days when I admire my reflection, seeing only beauty, and days when facing my reflection feels impossible. 

I have days when uncontrollable laughter fills the air with euphoria, and days when tears stream endlessly, leaving the taste of salt upon my lips.  

There are days of endless worshiping and praise, and sometimes there are endless days of silence and stillness.  

I have days when I hold onto life with every ounce of strength, and days when I crave the stillness of heaven, dreaming of reunions with my favorite loves.  

I have those days, too, just like you. 

There were days when I couldn’t wait to share my art, my words, my soul with you. And days I kept them locked inside, just for myself.  

These days are real. The feelings are human. It’s okay to have those days. To question. To not understand. It’s okay to take a break. And it’s okay to give yourself grace.  

Don’t give up on Him. Those days, they’re not always His will. His desire isn’t for us to be miserable. His desire is for us to feel His love, every day, even in the pain. But His enemy loves to interfere, and sometimes He allows it. Why, I don’t know. Maybe I never will.  

When you have those days, take that break. Grieve. Rest. Then stand up again.  

Imagine lying in a field of roses. Each one planted by Jesus. Each rose a symbol of His love for you. Picture yourself there, in a field of Jesus’s love, surrounded by His care. Feel His warmth. Hear His voice. Let Him hold you, hug you, and love you.  

Surrender your pain to Him. He can carry it. You can’t. Give it away, that’s what He wants. He’s your father, let your father take care of you. 

Have that day, but let it go.  

I love you.  

Stay alive. 

You’re mandatory. 

With lots of love, 

Christina